Gracie Allen
One of my favorite comedians was Gracie Allen. Gracie Allen was born Grace Cecile Rosalie Allen in San Francisco in 1895 To Margaret (Darraugh) and George Allen Her father toured the vaudeville circuit as a song and dance man, and at the age of three or four she appeared in his act dressed in a top hat and suit. In 1922 she met George Burns and the unique talent of Gracie Allen to be unconsciously funny made the Burns and Allen the greatest husband and wife comedy team of all time. Some of their most famous lines are below:
George: Did you ever hear that silence is golden?
Gracie: No, what station are they on?
George: It's an adage, you know what an adage is?
Gracie: Oh sure, that's where you keep your old trunks.
George: Do you like to love?
Gracie: No.
George: Do you like to kiss?
Gracie: No.
George: What do you like?
Gracie: Lamb chops.
George: A little girl like you, can you eat two big lamb chops alone?
Gracie: No, but with potatoes I could.
Gracie: Did you know my brother was held up by two men last night?
George: For how much?
Gracie: Oh, all the way home!
George: You're absolutely brilliant. I'm beginning to think you are a wizard.
Gracie: I'm a wizard?
George: Yes. You know what a wizard is.
Gracie: Yes, a snowstorm.
George: Well, if that's a snowstorm, then what's a blizzard?
Gracie: A blizzard is the inside of a chicken. Anybody knows that.
George: Then if that's a blizzard, what's a lizard?
Gracie: A lizard is a man that's smart... A genius.
George: Did something happen to you when you were a baby?
Gracie: When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
George: Gracie what do you think of television?
Gracie: I think it's wonderful- I hardly ever watch radio anymore.
Gracie: I'll never forget the night I had to call the doctor for my cousin Marie...she got up in the middle of the night and gave the biggest scream you ever heard.
George: What happened?
Gracie: We looked down and her feet had turned black.
George: What did you do?
Gracie: We sent for the doctor.
George: What did the doctor do?
Gracie: He took off her stockings and we all went back to sleep again.
Gracie: Blanche, I heard some gossip about you from a woman.
Blanche: Oh, what was it?
Gracie: I don't remember- I forgot it the minute I told it to her.
Jana Ruth
Author of "Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life
www.janaruth.biz
www.laughandlivehappier.com
www.onewomanslaughter.blogspot.com
About Me
- Funny Woman, Humorist and Motivational Speaker
- At Arizona State University, Jana majored in theater and mostly was cast as a funny old woman. Now that she is getting closer to that age, she will now know how to play the part. After graduating from Arizona State University, Jana took time off to raise two kids and a husband. After the kids had gotten old enough, and there was little hope for the husband, Jana started performing again. First in theater and then she ventured into stand-up comedy. For the past twenty years Jana has been combining her theater and stand-up comedy experience with her professional career as a Speaker, Author, and Facilitator. Jana has performed for and been a speaker for business, government, and civic organizations.
1 comment:
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